Katie turns 5!

As of tomorrow, I'll have a 7, 6, 5 & 3 year old. That either makes me terribly stupid or quite ingenious.

At first, having Katie was SO SO SO difficult for me. Maggie hadn't turned 3 yet, nor was she potty trained, so for all intents and purposes I had 3 babies. Nights were essentially a nightmare, as Maggie had night terrors that would wake us up to blood-curdling screams, Brooke was still waking up at least once (probably due to all the screaming going on), and I was up feeding Katie every couple of hours. I honestly don't know how I survived that first year of Katie's life, nor do I know how Mike could've survived me, as sleep deprived as I was. (For those of you who know me, sleep is an essential part of my sanity!)

Thankfully, Maggie grew out of the night terrors as well as the diapers, and Brooke and Katie finally started sleeping through the night so I could too. As arduous as that time had been for me, I truly think it was worth it because now my girls are the best of friends. In contrast to the difficulties that emerged from having to meet the various needs of a newborn, 18 month old and almost 3 year old, their needs now are nearly congruent. They like the same toys, movies, foods (for the most part), and they even have some of the same friends. Heck, Brooke and Katie are even the same size, so they share clothes without fighting over them yet, which is seriously great!

So, I'm going to categorize myself as ingenious for having my girls so close together, even though at first, it seemed very, very stupid. I can only hope that their friendship will last through what will most certainly be a tumultuous teenagership, and develop into the same kind of relationship I now have with my sisters.

As for Katie, who turns 5 tomorrow, I'm so grateful she's a part of our family. Her laugh is absolutely infectious, and her dimple just draws you in to her. She loves to help me do ANYTHING, especially when it comes to cooking or baking. In fact, when she was three, she was obsessed with Rachael Ray and would choose to watch her cooking show over cartoons! She tells the silliest jokes (if you can call them that), and loves to "speak" Spanish. I can't bear to correct her when she calls her eyelashes "ashleyes" because it's just too cute, just like she is. I look forward to watching her continue to grow, and hopefully I won't mess her up too badly along the way! I love you, Katiekins!

Things I will and will NOT miss...

I was thinking about a song by Trace Adkins yesterday entitled, You're Gonna Miss This. It's about not taking for granted the experiences you're having now in the hopes of things being better in the future, especially when it comes to your children.

I've been told so often I can't begin to count the number of times, (usually amidst my complaining) that I should love every minute of being a mother because "they just grow up too fast." Well, as much as I would like to think that's absolutely true, I've discovered that there are some things that I absolutely WILL NOT miss (this list is obviously not all inclusive):



1. Climbing into a crumb-filled bed where someone has decided it's the only "safe" place to consume their pirated loot without anyone finding out.

2. Discovering that the slimy mess I feel squishing through my toes is actually banana that someone has dropped and LEFT on the floor for me to smush into the rug, and consequently add to my list of things I have to clean up. (I know, I should be grateful it's just a banana.)

3. Struggling to bend over my protruding belly for the fifteenth time to pick up a pair of dirty socks left on the floor, only to hear (in the whiniest voice possible), "Mom! I can't find my socks!" approximately 30 seconds later.

4. Having my newly potty-trained 3-year-old decide that stopping to come inside to use the toilet is just too inconvenient, and that continuing to play in soiled pants is perfecty acceptable, and is actually not too uncomfortable.

5. Trying to convince said 3-year-old that the sacrament is not a MEAL and that she can only take ONE piece of bread--preferrably the first one she touches...

6. Everything about being pregnant.

7. Repeating myself.

8. Changing up the back, out the legs, in the hair, on the floor, on my pants, blowout diapers.

9. Being told one night that I'm the greatest cook in the world and the next night being asked why I can't cook like The Burger King.

10. WHINING--need I say more?


Just to make sure this is a fair and balanced post, I'm perfectly aware that there are things I will deeply miss, and some that I already do. Again, a list that is NOT all inclusive:


1. Words. Tortiyaya=tortilla; ashleyes=eyelashes; pizzzpa=pizza; lasterday=yesterday; menember=remember.

2. Little arms wrapping around my neck to give me a hug for no apparent reason.

3. After putting make up on and getting my hair done for church (usually the only day it happens...), having the girls look at me with wide eyes, saying, "Mom! What happened to you? You look beautiful!"

4. Listening to them sing "I Want to Be Kind" to each other after they get in trouble for fighting, then watching them hug and run off playing together as if nothing had happened.

5. Hearing them include in their prayers a plea that the cat won't get eaten by anything while she stays outside for the night.

6. Their first time reading a book by themselves.

7. Their knock-knock jokes that make no sense, but that they laugh hysterically at themselves for coming up with.

8. Holding a sad or discouraged child in my arms, knowing that soon I won't be their first choice for consolation.

9. Having the girls fight over who gets to kneel by me for family prayer, or sit next to me during sacrament meeting, or be on my team for playing games...ok, they'll always fight to be on my team--everyone does.

10. Hearing, "Good Night, I love you!" every night.


All-in-all, I love being a mom. I'm completely aware that I don't even understand most of what I will miss about having my little ones around me. I try to think about that when I'm trying to avoid stepping on them as they "help" in the kitchen, or when they defiantly tell me "no" for the 112th time that day.

I have three things to say to my mom in light of my experiences in mommydom so far:

1. I'm sorry!
2. I appreciate you!
3. I love you!

I think that about covers it....

Bridget's 3rd

So my baby turns 3 today. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's already been that long, other times I could swear it's her 13th. When we brought her home from the hospital, it took her all of 3 days to start sleeping through the night. I think Heavenly Father knew we needed that with 3 others at home to contend with. She was always very mellow and content with where she was and what she was doing. I could bring the playpen out to the garden and pull weeds for an hour or so, and she'd play with no complaints. I was overjoyed to have such an easy baby! Of course, Murphy's Law would state that "good things never stay the same." At about 18 months, she turned into a little whipper-snapper! Her independence and stubbornness suddenly emerged, and my easy-going baby was no longer. She suddenly had this twinkle in her eye that meant she knew exactly what she wanted and exactly how she was going to get it. It's the latter part that has challeneged her mother! I'm hoping we can learn to channel her independence so it will be used for good, and not evil in the future! I'm excited to see how being a big sister will change her, while at the same time hoping little Dixon will survive her. Bridget, you are my biggest challenge, but boy do I LOVE a good challenge! You're the smartest three-year-old I know, and I'm so glad you're mine!

My Faves

I couldn't help but post my favorite shot of each of the girls. In this one, Maggie looks as if she's not a little girl anymore! In fact, she grabed her "Hannah Montana" purse the other day, flung it onto her shoulder and asked, "Do I look like a teenager now?" It has begun...

Brooke spent the entire photo shoot posing as if she were America's Next Top Model. She's probably the most girly of the bunch and likes to wear dress-up shoes around the house constantly. If she could wear a dress or skirt everyday, she absolutely would! I love how this picture captures all of her sweetness!

Katie has a laugh that is completely infectious! She's a silly little girl who loves to play and make up jokes, then belly laugh at her own hilarity. She wakes up in the morning with hair a beauty queen would be envious of, and one day she'll actually appreciate it!



Bridget is still Little Miss Independent. Of all the girls, she is the most stubborn--can't imagine who she inherited that from...You can always see the gears turning in her head, and it's been so fun to watch her figure things out. Somehow she has an understanding of things that surpasses her three years, and I'll be lucky if I can keep up with her very much longer!

My Girls

At first glance, this photo doesn't strike one as very spectacular...a shot from behind of four little girls, all holding hands amidst a garden of flowering bulbs. Nice. Cute. But that's what draws me to all different forms of art, especially photography. It gives me an opportunity to glean what I will from the endless possibilities of meaning contained within one single piece. This photo in particular, has evoked a flood of emotion as I've spent the past little while contemplating with tear-filled eyes, what it represents to me.

Of course, these four little girls aren't just any little girls--they're MY little girls. A humbling thought, as I know they have been sent to me for some wise purpose that I'm just beginning to scratch the surface of understanding. As their mother, I take my place where I can get the best view, watching from behind as they learn to make their own decisions and deal with the ensuing consequences of those choices. I guide where I can, picking them up if they stumble along the way, encouraging them to reach higher, and applauding all their efforts.

Bridget, Brooke, Maggie, Katie

Each of these four little girls is as unique as the dress they wear, and yet they have already learned that standing together, side by side, is where they want to be, despite any differences they may have. They have the whole wide world ahead of them, and they are ready to face it together, hand in hand.

It dawns on me that all mothers must surely feel this way about their children--the neverending reservoir of love for each of them, and simultaneous grave responsibility for the soul of another. Makes me appreciate and love my mom more deeply and with more respect than I ever had the capacity to before. It also reminds me of four other little girls, whose mother still stands behind them after all these years.

Meredith, Amanda, Julianne, Emily

See, it's not just a picture...